I'm BACK! My continual prayer is to be a blessing to someone thru my blog entries but I’ve been allowing the Lord to guide what I post and lately until now I haven’t felt the nudge in my spirit. I want my post to be spirit led so if the spirit doesn’t lead, I don’t post!
Insecurity is a deep rooted weed that had been growing in my heart for as long as I can remember. Being from a broken home where one parent is just trying to make ends meet and the other parent is struggling with a drug addiction often left me with the feeling of being invisible. Feeling invisible leads you to feelings of unworthyness, not being good enough and all around feeling unloved. Not having the "cookie cutter" family mixed with feeling unloved left me with an emptiness inside which continued to water the seeds of insecurity. I think everyone’s insecurities show up differently in their lives; some people look for security in the opposite sex, others aspire for fancy job titles but my insecurities kept me from acquiring new friendships. Don’t get me wrong, I’ve always been a friendly person but I was very guarded with allowing people past the jokes and smiles. Over the years I had put a club, chains and pad lock around my heart to keep people away (especially women) for the fear of them finding out what I really thought of myself. I can honestly say that up until two years ago I may have only had three friends and would tell someone in a heartbeat that I don’t want or need any NEW friends. Now we all know it’s not the quantity of friends but the quality but even still I never gave anyone a chance to get to know me on a deeper level. Shortly after rededicating my life to Christ it amazed me how He strategically starting placing people around me that would help grow me in my walk with Him, which meant opening up to complete strangers. As I began to open up to these people about my struggles and past, I began to feel a weight being lifted off of me. Hearing other people’s testimonies really opened my eyes and heart to the beauty of being able to be transparent for people. Does it mean telling all your business? NO! The Lord gives us wisdom and discernment to know what to share but we have to be willing to be honest with others and ourselves for our growth as the body of Christ. Through fellowshipping with other Christians I began to have that family that I always desired and I began to realize that despite everything that I faced growing up the Lord had and is still keeping me. I truly have been becoming whole knowing that I am a child of God and to know that I was considered so amazing and precious that He chose to send His son to die for ME is simply mind blowing.
The Lord desires that His children stay in fellowship with each other, Hebrews 10:25 “not forsaking the assembling of ourselves together, as is the manner of some, but exhorting one another, and so much the more as you see the Day approaching. Fellowshipping with other Christians is so crucial to our walk, we need people in our lives that will hold us accountable and love on us. We are all on this journey together so I urge you to find a brother or sister in Christ that you can lock arms with. Trust me I don’t think you will regret it. Lastly, search your heart for any deeply rooted issues that could be hindering you from developing a deeper relationship with God and submit it to Him.
Deuteronomy 28:13 “The LORD will make you the head, not the tail. If you pay attention to the commands of the LORD your God that I give you this day and carefully follow them, you will always be at the top, never at the bottom.”
Living To Live Again
